daqron :: movingdog blog

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2006-03-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

Movingdog is moving. This site will remain in place to accomodate existing trackbacks, but all archives and future articles will be posted on www.daqron.com.

Please visit daqron.com and subscribe to the RSS feed there so that you can read new articles when I post them.

Thanks!

leaving lone star

2006-03-09T06:57:00.000-08:00

"It sure wasn't a win-win situation," said the bleached Texas blonde two rows back in heavy drawl, "for either side." Everything in the sticky-sweet accent sounded like a question with extra emphasis on the last word. As if the speaker was checking for comprehension before proceeding to the next part of her story. Dog looked back between the seats, irritated like he always was after spending any time in Dallas. Decided at a glance that she must drive a Lexus — one of those with the annoying paint job you think might be white with gold microglitter enthusiastically sprinkled on but really it's called "champagne" or "pearl" or some other fitting archetype of patrician excess. He looked at her some more, curious about her immovable largesse of hair and the mathematical function of product flammability that must accompany it. He induced that she was the source of the rank chemical-sweet perfume he could smell when he had boarded the 737 just under four minutes ago. Perfume, from parfumare, means "to fill with smoke". Dog parsed the etymology and felt like lighting up a cigarette — far less offensive than the overpowering Lexus bitch odor and yet infinitely more a violation of federal aviation laws. He turned away, resentful of the direction society was headed, and went back to reading the Times by the personal halogen in 2D as the chalkboard-scrape of FAA-mandated flight attendant safety-babble droned on and 6am liftoff rattled the molded plastic above him. His eyelids were heavy.

10,000 feet later: “something to drink, sir?” Jack and Coke. Two if you wouldn’t mind.

He pulled his Dell out from under the seat. Momentarily he entertained the thought that 3G would work up here but he reasoned that if there was any merit at all to the notion that cellular communication interferes with airplane radios he didn't want to be responsible for some colossal high-casualty disaster, or worse, marooned in Kansas with the crazy Lexus bitch. So instead he jacked in big Sony phones and maxed some French rap music. He smiled slightly, triumphantly content in drowning out the screams of a demon spawn baby and the pilot, whose flight plan was mistakenly deemed interesting enough to read over the PA system. Dog had enough digital music to slingshot Jupiter and enough backup juice to last a week, but DFW to SEA isn't that far. Sitting back, he closed the lid and put the rig on the floor at his feet, little black wire trailing up from the port, across his black leather shoes and up the outside of his faded dark olive overcoat into the phones. Twin jets hummed a steady background and Dog lost himself briefly in the thin newsprint pages of the world before drifting to sleep with incomprehensible lyrics permeating his brain.

port-scan: hacking the bush-dubai connection

2006-02-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

Update 03.03.06: Article published on Kuro5hin.

A pending $5.8 billion port operation deal with Dubai Ports World has sparked acrimonious response from both sides of the aisle. Politicians are seizing on an opportunity to be tougher than the president on national security without much trepidation about ostricizing Arabs. Rhetoric abounds about the dangers to our borders, the security of our ports, the collapse of America as we outsource our labor to the UAE (and who the hell are they anyway?).

But it isn't the Arabs you should fear. There is only one thing that politicians like more than scaring you and that's money. The deep and sinister links between the Bush family, Carlyle Group and Dubai Ports World aren't making the ten o'clock news, but don't be fooled - this is just the latest way for Bush & Company to profit off of the "War on Terror". Congress' maligning of Arabs might suffice to derail the deal, but we still deserve to know what's really going on.

A Partner in Peace

Bush has called the United Arab Emirates a partner in the so-called "War on Terror". But Democrats point out that Dubai's history with terrorism is far from spotless: two of the 9/11 hijackers were from the UAE; Osama bin Laden has a history of friendship with members of the UAE royal family; and that country recognized and supported the Taliban regime. The latter two do not warrant out-of-hand dismissal as either anti-Arab rhetoric or flawed logic, yet some argue that UAE has changed since 9/11 and so is somehow beyond questioning. It appears that the administration is on board with that assertion. In light of the United States' history in Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran, it is perhaps unfair to characterize Dubai in the light of its historical indiscretions, particularly when one accounts for the delicate geopolitical balance that country has to maintain as an ostensibly pro-Western Islamic non-democracy. So the past notwithstanding, why shouldn't we trust this country enough to let them run port operations? To find the answer to that question, you have to look closer to home.

Follow the Money

Controversy surrounding the DP World deal has been framed as us versus them but the money trail tells a different story and leads to the one person not concerned about national security: George W. Bush. Despite claiming to have no prior knowledge of the deal, it stands to reason that as major shareholders in the Carlyle Group, the Bush family must have been aware of the impact this deal would have on one of its major investments - a company called CSX Transportation. DP World owns the $1.5 billion freight terminal division of CSX Transportation, operator of the largest rail system in the Eastern USA, and there are at least two important connections between CSX and the Bush family:

The former chairman and CEO of CSX Transportation is John W. Snow. Snow was appointed in 2003 to be Secretary of the United States Treasury by George W. Bush. In his role, Snow is also the chair of CFIUS, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States, the body that oversees large transactions in the USA involving foreign companies to ensure they are not national security threats. This would appear to be a major conflict of interest since Snow no doubt stands to reap significant stock gains as a result of the deal. Yet Snow did not recuse himself from the review process and his committee approved the DP World deal on January 17, after conducting an abbreviated 30-day review instead of the 45-day investigation required by law. Little difference, it seems, the additional 15 days would likely have made.

The global investment firm Carlyle Group owns a majority interest in CSX Lines domestic container shipping. Carlyle Group made a name for itself by working behind the scenes, influencing global events to serve the needs of their elite investors. Their reach extends into aerospace, telecommunications, defense contracting, Iraq rebuilding and foreign policy. Executives and shareholders in Carlyle, a $13.5 billion company with offices just spitting distance from the White House, include former president George H. W. Bush, former British Prime Minister John Major, Colin Powell and former State and Treasury Secretary James Baker. Carlyle also boasts ties to another important family: the bin Ladens. According to a Wall Street Journal article from 2001:
"A Carlyle executive said the bin Laden family committed $2 million through a London investment arm in Carlyle Partners II Fund, which raised $ 1.3 billion overall. ... So far, the family received $1.3 million back in completed investments and should ultimately realize a 40% annualized rate of return, the Carlyle executive said. ... But a foreign financier with ties to the bin Laden family says the family's overall investment with Carlyle is considerably larger. He called the $2 million merely an initial contribution. "It's like plowing a field," this person said. "You seed it once. You plow it, and then you reseed it again.""

Reseed it indeed. With the power to make or break a global corporation, The Carlyle Group is in the unique position of being able to guarantee return on investment for its elite shareholders. In another context that might be called insider trading; Bush calls it a good deal.

Resources

Download a Full-size JPEG or PDF of my handy flow chart illustrating the Bush-Dubai scheme.
Meet the Carlyle Group — with links to articles from major news sources.
Article on the Carlyle purchase of major stake in CSX
More on the Carlyle Group
Article on the DP World purchase of CSX World Terminals
American Dynasty by Kevin Phillips — a comprehensive history of the Bush family and how they came to power.
House of Bush, House of Saud by Craig Unger — explores the relationships between the two most powerful family dynasties in the world.
9/11 for Dummies — an excellent primer on what really happened and how Bush was responsible.

thoughts from an airplane

2006-02-09T18:28:00.000-08:00

It’s about noon on Thursday and I’m flying home from Memphis. Probably somewhere over northern Colorado right about now; some sort of frozen mountainous paradise/wasteland lies below. I think when you’re on a plane, the country is reduced to flat parts and mountains – a strange dualism that doesn’t hint at the true bizarreness and complexity of what is really down there on the ground. Like CNN’s red state/blue state maps that portray us as one-dimensional colours. Of course everyone knows that only the red states are one-dimensional.

I don't know how many times I've been on an airplane in the last four years since I got the corporate whore gig. 100 maybe? 200? I've flown more than 200,000 miles with United airlines alone. Looking out the windows never gets old. Since I live in the most beautiful state in the country, coming home has a few extra rewards even before I land - Baker, Adams, Hood, Ranier ... majestically reflecting the sun on their snow-capped peaks that jut out from grey backgrounds like the first few stars to appear in the evening sky. Yeah that's right, I made a 1337 simile; suck on it.

So here I am floating again above the mountains and the farms. Unconnected. It's simple up here. The only place I can go during work hours where you can't find me with your cell phones and your text messages and your emails and your IMs and your whatnot. Work is done here. Books read, naps taken, and music enjoyed as more than background noise. They say this gets old but it's working for me so far. But of course, we come down, we corporate whores all, occasionally to visit upon the land. And things get complicated again.

ode to the monorail

2006-01-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

This poem is written on the sad occasion of my decision to make peace with the tragic loss of the Seattle Monorail project, for which I had such high hopes. The dream of elegant and efficient public mass transit in Seattle, a long complicated saga that I chronicled for some time on spaceneedle.us (now being repurposed), was brutally slaughtered on 9 November 2005 by a hastily written ballot measure that ended 4 years of public support for the project. Anyone who gives a shit knows the story so I'll spare you and myself the pain of recounting it. But here, with a heavy heart (and a nod to the Vogons), I post this final vestige of the monorail dream that once was.

I

O Seattle we once had a dream
  That over this great city soared a train
Bestriding but a single perfect beam
  And glistening like platinum in the rain.

The masses climbed aboard this train you built —
  Connecting Ballard with Seattle (West) —
They teemed, unstradled with the pain of guilt
  for blue skies lost, onto the field of Qwest.
Enjoying there their unencumbered mirth
  As Seahawks made the competition quiver,
Though 99 might crumble to the earth,
  Still safely back the train would them deliver.

It was a dream so powerful and right
  That out of our collective hearts did grow;
We verily did ballot measures write
  And voters did their mighty Yes bestow.

II

But misery! Your hand evokes our screams
  As though it were a rigid piercing nail
That punctures tires inflated by our dreams
  To ride upon the solitary rail.

For though our wills were pure as winter's frost,
  A fifth vote shattered hope forever more,
And brought the scourge of gridlock and exhaust -
  An environmental nightmare to abhor.

Betrayed by lies and hoodwinked by our mayor
  Down to bitter exit went our work,
While Martin Selig cheered with his nay-sayers
  Because he is a sphincter and a jerk.

III

So thus with tears the dream to bed we lay;
  Remorsefully we fold the Green Line map,
Perhaps to gaze upon some other day
  When our leaders aren't completely full of crap.

And now with heavy heart on this occasion,
  I gaze upon my car under the tree,
And fasten license tabs falsely emblazoned
  With images of what will never be.

iron city

2005-11-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

A few pictures from my recent adventure in Pittsburgh. Saw an old China of mine there, bunnerabb, who was instrumental in the success of my plot to rid the city of their Jack Daniel's. We were also able to determine that Pittsburgh is where roads go when they die: it was a humbling lesson either in the consequences of poor urban planning or the sheer brilliance of Midwest engineers as demonstrated through a sophisticated massive-scale concrete Jenga project. Anyway, amidst the confluence and the towering smokestacks burning eternal homage to William Pitt and the Whiskey Rebellion, we found our way out of the cold and into a few warm bars. Nothing beats an old friend. Except a stick. But I was fresh out of sticks. So ... good times.

rumsfeld, poet laureate

2005-10-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, Slate magazine posted an article titled The Poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld which included several unmodified quotes from Donald Rumsfeld in poem form. Sublime and thought-provoking, Rumsfeld's poetry invokes - with depth and the wisdom of experience - the modern global condition.

OK, not really. He's just a big evil dumbass most of the time. But unlike his big evil dumbass boss, Rumsfeld is strikingly articulate in his perfected idiom of equivocation and obfuscation. I also believe his mastery of the dependent clause to be unrivaled among his poet-politician contemporaries. I also have to grant that occasionally his statements, though obtuse and seemingly nonsensical, are quite profound. For example, Slate's first pick - "The Unknown" - quite accurately described the situation America faced in Iraq (nevermind that going to war based solely on a fourth and unmentioned type of knowledge - the "fabricated known" - wasn't a very good idea).

Anyway, I have painstakingly searched through web publications of notable Rumsfeld speeches and through the annals of the Department of Defense transcripts archive to bring you more examples of this man's poetic genius. Enjoy.

Directive 1011
What we've simply got to do is to,
When progress
Broke down
As it did,
Came to a dead stop

And we were prohibited from
Going forward, the
Various studies that were put in place, the
Independent analyses that were asked for, the
Assessments that were made
Have now been coming in and
As they have it will require
That they be put together,
Analyzed and then

A recommendation made to the Congress.

— 10.11.05, Dept. of Defense Town Hall Meeting, MacDill AFB, Florida

Questions
He's got about six
Hypothetical questions
All linked together there
And interacting
In a semi-violent way.

— 10.11.05, Dept. of Defense Town Hall Meeting, MacDill AFB, Florida

More Questions
So without getting into
Some of the aspects of your question
That I don't want you to think
That I didn't know
That I'm not getting into them,
Because I do know that
I'm not getting into them —
Let me say that we're on the side of history
And history's on the side of freedom,
And that's the side to be on.

— 10.11.05, Dept. of Defense Town Hall Meeting, MacDill AFB, Florida

Advice for the President
I always promise myself
I won't blurt out an answer
From a pinnacle
Of near-perfect ignorance.

— 10.11.05, Dept. of Defense Town Hall Meeting, MacDill AFB, Florida

Ferry
There used to be a ferry connecting San Diego to Coronado.
There was no bridge.
There’s a big bridge now,
But in those days it was a ferry.
The cars would line up
waiting to get on the ferry going out
and then people would come in
the other way.

— 8.29.05, Comments made en route to Fort Irwin

Democracy
They'll all nod and say, "Well,
I really don't like it,
It's not perfect,
But it's good enough,

And by golly,
If we have to amend it,
Lots of other countries
Have amended their constitution.

If there's something we made a mistake on,
We'll just have to fix it later,
Or let the parliament do it in January
With a new parliament
After we have elections
Under that new constitution."

This is not easy stuff.

— 08.23.05, Dept. of Defense Briefing

Fond Farewell
You could just get up
And give a testimonial
To how much you've enjoyed working here
And how much you respect all the people
That you've had the privilege to meet.
But that isn't likely.

— 08.23.05, Dept. of Defense Briefing

The Inner Gyroscope of Freedom
To be sure,
In a wave of emotion
People can get pushed to one side
Or a view can take place
That really isn’t the true view,
But people have an inner gyroscope.

They have a good mooring lines,
And they come back to center.
And if we keep saying what the truth is
And we keep doing our jobs,
By golly,
They'll figure it out
And they'll be supportive
And you can count on it.

— 07.27.05, Town Hall Meeting in Balad, Iraq

The Future
I would not say that the future
Is necessarily less predictable
Than the past.
I think the past
Was not predictable
When it started.

— 04.03.03, Dept. of Defense Briefing

The Dumbest Thing
The dumbest thing anyone could do
Would be to stand up here
And start previewing things
That somebody's thinking about
Or not thinking about
Or starting to disabuse you
Of each thing somebody tells you
That we're thinking about,
Because then the first time
We don't disabuse you,
You'll say "aha –
That's what they're going to do!"

— 05.24.02, Dept. of Defense Briefing

The Moon
The construct I would suggest would be —
What are the benefits —
What are the advantages and disadvantages of not acting?
And of course, the advantage of not acting —
Against the moon —
Would be that no one could say that you acted.
They would say,
"Isn't that good —
You didn't do anything against the moon."

The other side of the coin
Of not acting against the moon,
In the event that the moon
Posed a serious threat,
Would be that you then suffered
A serious loss,
And you're sorry
After that's over.

— 8.20.02, Dept. of Defense Briefing

Haiku
This is fantastic —
I've got a laser pointer!
Holy mackerel

— 11.27.01, Dept. of Defense Briefing

will work for peace

2005-09-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

Images from the peace rally today in downtown Seattle (click here).

independence

2005-07-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

To my great relief, the ones I spent last Thursday morning worried about as I was making my way across Memphis are all safe.

On business travel all week, my days have been packed quite full, even so that I had to fly out on Monday - Independence Day - at 5am. Across the desert and over the plains, 2,369 frequent flyer miles to Memphis: home of Sun Studios, Beale Street, the world's largest cargo hub and the pork BBQ capital of the world (I am a vegetarian so you can only imagine how profoundly exciting this was for me). Memphis is a typical Southern city in same the way that the platypus is a typical mammal. But statistically it represents well the modern day Southern town. Like its neighbours, it is home to a large (~50%) community of black people who overwhelmingly live in poverty. The average individual African-American income in Memphis is about half that of the average white person's. Up on the twelfth floor of the Downtown Marriott, I was only blocks up Second Avenue from one of the worst areas of unemployment and homelessness in the city. Driving West toward the freeway, sun just beginning to glimmer off the Mississippi, I crossed over streets with names like Crump and Forrest; names shamefully reminiscent of the slavery and Jim Crow days that set the stage for the city's current racial divide. And I, Whitie from the great white North, was happily exploiting, as I do, the business amenities offered to Whitie by just about every modern city. Memphis doesn't hide its past though, so I guess I just noticed this time.

Anyway, there I was, in this strange anachronism of a city, as the USA turned 229 years old. Unfortunately, in Memphis, like most places in America, Independence Day isn't about freedom from state-sponsored religion or the true meaning of democracy, or really anything more than trite nationalism, endless loops of "God Bless America" and unabashed pyromania (I was, sadly, cheated out of the last by a particularly ill-timed thunderstorm). I observed all of this; a tangential distraction from the purpose of my visit, but all the same a reminder of the profound iniquity that exists in this country that has spent trillions of dollars creating and then fighting the Taliban, Saddam Hussein, al Qaeda while letting its own live this way. The worn-out hollow platitudes about freedom seemed to me just preversions of something that once had meaning but now are just tools of the religious-military-industrial complex to rally any heretofore bench-warming flag-wavers around more of their dirty little wars. So I settled, eyes-forward and of singular purpose befitting my corporate whoredom, into my week. And so it went. Until Thursday.

Now, back at home in Seattle, I am catching up on the stories of spods, Raindogs, and co-workers from across the pond. I am relieved at their rational, mournful, hopeful and angry responses to the attacks. I am relieved that they didn't react like Americans: the emergency response was flawless; people continued, resolutely, with their modern lives; Tony Blair went, briefly but immediately, to the injured city. It was all very impressive. I must say I do quite like old London. Their biggest failure appears to be that in the 229 years since the USA declared its independence, they have developed an utter and inexplicable loyalty to the foreign policy of the U.S. government.

So, what I have learned in the last few days is this: London doesn't need my sympathy. It doesn't need the inane prayers of empty-headed Floridians. It doesn't need Mr. Bush's resolve. It doesn't need to be another battlefield of the "war on terror". What it needs is independence from the United States.

book meme

2005-06-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was trying to ignore this blog but some bastard tagged me with the book meme and I feel obligated to comply.

1. Total number of books I own: about 200.
2. The last book I bought: I've just ordered The Gospel According to RFK and Reading Lolita in Tehran, the latter for a book club I've joined.
3. The last book I read: When the Emperor was Divine by Julie Otsuka, which is the 2005 Seattle Reads selection.
4. Five books that mean a lot to me:

1. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson was Jodrell's first choice and mine too for good reason. I don't even know how to communicate with people who haven't read this book.
2. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Also, everything else by Bill Bryson but particularly this book which is exactly what is says it is.
3. Virtual Light by William Gibson. Representing the first of the bridge series which, as a collective work, is a reasonable ambassador of Gibson's work (also includes All Tomorrow's Parties and Idoru).
4. The Oxford English Dictionary. Someday I'll own the entire 20 volume set.
5. Sons and Brothers: The Days of Jack and Bobby by Richard D. Mahoney.

5. Tag five people and have them do it on their blogs:

1. Whore
2. David
3. Bishnabob
4. Judith van Praag
5. Amy

conversation with a telemarketer

2005-02-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

- Me
# Telemarketer

- Hello this is Jeremy.

# Good afternoon sir, my name is Derek and I'm calling today on behalf of the Union of Wonderful People who Love Fluffy Kittens, how are you doing today?

- Well actually one of my routers is offline and I was in th-

# That's really super! Well, sir, I won't take up much of your time today, I just need to know if we can count on your one-time special contribution of $500 to support the Union of Wonderful People who Love Fluffy Kittens. We're sponsoring an exclusive special Fluffy Kitten Appreciation event on April 23rd and we'd like to give you two complimentary passes to this event in return for your contribution. Can we count on your support, sir?

- No, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do that, but thanks for the call.

# I totally understand, sir, but as you know kittens are fluffy and very cute, and sometimes they don't bite you. I just really love kittens and I know you do too, sir, don't you?

- Um ...

# Yes, sir, you do, because kittens are so soft and fluffy, so can we count on your pledge to the Union of Wonderful People who Love Fluffy Kittens at the $140 level today?

- No, see, I appreciate the effort here, but I am not interested.

# Absolutely, sir, but I wonder if you are aware that kittens are baby cats, sir? And everyone loves cats and everyone loves babies, right sir?

- Uh ...

# Of course they do, sir, and kittens are like two in one! They're BABY CATS, sir! Nothing could possibly be more worthwhile than supporting our organization because we just LOVE kittens SO MUCH. Also, you can be assured that your pledge at the $73 level will go 100% towards the appreciation of fluffy kittens. So if you would just give me your credit card information, sir, we can go ahead and check you off as a lover of kittens and send you out our daily newsletter, Fluffy Kitten Appreciation Badge, catalog of Fluffy Kitten Appreciation apparel, plus our exclusive junk mail voucher complete with a big red "IMPORTANT - OPEN IMMEDIATELY" stamp and for just $17 more we'll enter you in our contest.

- Now look, I've been polite with you Derek, but I am not interested and I must be going now.

# But sir, you love kittens don't you?

- That is hardly the point. You are call-

# Sir, we are an organization of people who LOVE KITTENS. Certainly you want to support the fluffy kittens don't you?

- No, I-

# Sir, these are just KITTENS. I'm not asking you to mortgage your house. You just have to show your love for the kittens, sir! You have to! They're fluffy! Surely you want to support us today so we will all know that you don't hate the kittens. You don't hate the kittens do you, sir?

- Hate the kittens? I don-

# Don't be a kitten-hater, sir. By pledging just $332 today we can clear this whole thing up and put you on our list of kitten-lovers and nobody will know that you like to pull out the kittens' whiskers with needle-nosed pliers. So, what was that credit card number?

- Look, I really have to go.

# But sir, kittens are made of FLUFF, sir! FLUFF! EVERYBODY LIKES FLUFFY THINGS, SIR, EVERYBOBY!

- Fluff? Are you deranged?

# Are you telling me, sir that you are a KITTEN HATER?

- I'm telling you to leave me alone.

# You are a KITTEN-HATER sir. A KITTEN HATER! You like to PULL OFF THEIR LEGS and shove HOT CURLING IRONS UP THEIR FLUFFY LITTLE ASSES! You are a KITTEN MURDERER! YOU ARE A DESPICABLE KITTEN-SLAUGHTERING GENOCIDAL MANIAC, SIR!

- Genocidal maniac?

# YOU WILL GIVE US $491 RIGHT NOW OR WE WILL EXPOSE YOU FOR THE RADICAL ANTI-KITTEN NAZI WARMONGER THAT YOU ARE, SIR!

*click*

stupid haiku time

2005-02-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

This happens every once in a while ...

Defenestration
It plummets to the cold ground
Never liked that cat

Time is eternal
Perched upon a high wire
The light is green, bitch!

Damn windows user
Waiting for Outlook to sync
Learn to multitask

Visions of beauty
Elegant curves, soft and white
Sexy, fluffy goat

bunner is da bomb
He write haiku all day long
He bad like king kong

Barry Manilow;
A perfect anagram of:
"Library Woman"

Barry Manilow;
Also nicely rearranged
is "Mylar Rainbow"

Gay men on TV
All day Queer Eye Marathon
Want to watch West Wing

ring in the new year

2005-01-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to say. But it's all very disorganised and I haven't had time to really think about how to express it all. Because I'm not very good at that sort of thing. What I am very good at is 4th grade math, so let me share some numbers with you:

The UN estimates 150,000 deaths in South Asia as a result of the tsunami. Relief organisations around the world, including in the United States, have heroically raised hundreds of millions of dollars to save lives and rebuild in the areas devastated by this disaster. The U.S. Government has pledged $350,000,000. That's about $2,333 per dead person or, more relevantly, $70 per homeless person (1).

So what? Well. The death toll in 9/11 was 3,016, if you take the DOD's high number (2). The total amount spent on cleanup by the U.S. Government after 9/11 pursuant to the 2001 Emergency Supplemental Appropriations Act for Recovery from and Response to Terrorist Attacks on the United States was $20 billion (that's just the cleanup number) (3). Add to that the $6 billion in victims' family compensation pursuant to the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund of 2001 (see 3) and that equates to approximately
$8,620,689 per victim. If that's not a fair comparison, you could imagine that every single victim had a family of 4 left behind (which they didn't) and arrive at $2,155,172 per living victim in total government spending. That doesn't mean the government gave each of those people $2 million, it means that's the per capita spend in response to the disaster. It seems slightly higher than $70.

Still not convinced that Bush administration has mixed-up priorities? The total amount of money spent by the U.S. Government on perpetrating the Iraq War to date is approximately $148,000,000,000 (4). The total number of people dead as a result of this war, including U.S. soldiers and military personnel (5) and Iraqi civilians (6) is 16,332. The average amount spent in this war, per death, by the U.S. Government is approximately $9,061,964. It hurts just to read that number, so I'll stop now.

Happy New Year.

letter to jim mcdermott

2004-11-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Congressman Jim McDermott
1809 7th Avenue, Suite 1212
Seattle, WA 98101

Dear Jim:

First, let me congratulate you on another well-deserved victory in the 7th District. I am so proud of your service within Washington State and your tireless representation of our district in Congress.

Like so many others, I have spent the past weeks working with the Washington State Democrats in the 7th and 11th Congressional districts. Our team worked many long hours, including a tiring 16-hour Election Day canvassing push in the pouring rain. Our hard work culminated in victory for some of our candidates and of these triumphs I am extremely proud, particularly the resounding 80% landslide that will keep your voice alive in Congress. You were there every step of the way, too. At the Moore Theatre debate party, at the Howard Dean rally on Pier 30, at Key Arena with Michael Moore, at the Patty Murray rallies, even there to kickoff our volunteer training (which you may not remember because you hadn't slept in days). How inspiring it all was.

Sadly, our victories here fall under a tremendous shadow. The new Republican-dominated House and Senate are eager to churn out legislation with economic, environmental and social consequences that will impact generations of Americans. And George W. Bush is eager to sign every page of it. And then, there are the pillars that hold up our Supreme Court. They are not made of stone but of flesh and blood. And as they crumble and fall their replacements will be appointed by these radical neo-conservatives we have allowed to ascend into power.

I am afraid now as never before. I fear a draft as thousands more American soldiers die in Iraq and still thousands more leave the military, disgusted and disillusioned. I fear a PATRIOT Act II by next fall equating to the coronation of John Ashcroft. I fear a funeral for Roe v Wade by 2006. Privacy, civil liberties and the safety of our children, our allies, our future, will find no shelter from this massive storm we have conjured.

So my question to you, Jim, is how can I possibly stay here in America with all of this looming on the horizon? How do we stay and fight something that the people of the United States have sanctioned? This is not 2000 where the will of the people was hijacked. This time fifty-nine million Americans willingly handed over the controls - with a mountain rapidly approaching. I heard you speak last night at the election night party and I wanted so desperately to join in your optimism as I have so many times on this campaign. But it all looks so hopeless from here and there are places not far away where, a broken heart notwithstanding, I can go and live without fear.

In gratitude for your service, I wish you all the best.

Jeremy Modjeska

40 years and nothing's changed

2004-10-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect*

bush or nazi

2004-10-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this has been done elsewhere on the Internets, but I found it a bit chilling how similar some of the things our "hard-working" president says are to some good old-fashioned nazis. Can you tell the difference? Take my quiz and find out! Do it now before it gets removed by John Ashcroft and I get deported to Greenland ...

"All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to anger. It works the same way in any country."

"With the might of God on our side we will triumph"

"I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator,"

"When you turn your heart and your life over to Christ, when you accept Christ as the savior, it changes your heart."

"Our god is the wonderful law of creation, whose amazing unity of all things shows itself in wonderful flowers, in growing trees, in new born children, in the secrets of a mother, in the growth of our people, in work and accomplishment and creation, in life itself."

"I understand religion is a walk, it's a journey. And I fully recognize that I'm a sinner, just like you."

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots."

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

"We are defending the nobility of normal lives, lived in obedience to God and conscience, not to government."

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier"

"What we have to fight for ... is the freedom and independence of [Country], so that our people may be enabled to fulfill the mission assigned to it by the Creator."

"We have arrested or detained over 1,000 people here in [Country] to find out what they know."

"We have a feeling that [Country] has been transformed into a great house of God, including all classes, professions and creeds"

"There ought to be limits to freedom."

(scores will be displayed in a new window)

heroes

2004-10-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

Thinking more on Christopher Reeve's death. That inescapable Superman halo that's always following him around. That's what we want. A real life hero. So even though Superman wasn't real, it still sort of feels like we lost him. Doesn't make it any easier that Superman was the last hero who was worth a damn. Anyway, it's a sad thing that we lost a good man. More so that the politicians are trying to see who can capatalize on it more. Anyway, the message is: Superman is gone.

But the reality is we make our heroes. Two men, Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, created Superman. They're both dead too. But it wasn't just those guys. Cultures throughout history have invented supermen. Gods of varying magnitudes. The more enlightened cultures did it to give people hope. The less enlightened gave hope as an inadvertant by-product of mechanisms designed to control the masses. The point is, the gods were always man-made.

Christopher Reeve the man was a hell of a guy. He did more with zero mobility than most of us can do with all our arms and legs functioning properly. But he couldn't fly and he didn't save the world and neither did any one else. The best mankind can do is invent our heroes in Bibles or comic books. On movie screens. And millions of people share in the inventions and they buy into the myth because they so desperately want to. Because everyone knows, somewhere inside oneself, that the myth is the only place the heroes exist.

and away

2004-10-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

A few days at home to absorb more of the crap that's going on in the world in the peace of my own home. Far from the airplanes and FAA-mandated flight attendent safety-babble. Just me and the cars going by. Over here, in Seattle, where the leaves are changing and it smells like autumn. Saturday morning I bought avocadoes at the natural food store while Christopher Reeve died. And I didn't clean my house because there were prettier, shinier things calling my name. Now there's work to be done. Carrying on believing I'm saving the world, while the cars go by outside unaware of my mere existence. But that's OK. Happy Thanksgiving to Canadia.

Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

-- Crash Test Dummies, Superman's Song

slow news day

2004-10-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

In a dead heat for today's Slow to Respond Under Pressure Award, Patty Murray and Mount St. Helens are the lucky winners. Let's start with the volcano. That bastard has been literally blowing smoke now for 2 days and it still hasn't erupted. According to the scientists who are on my television a little more than is probably necessary, it's been building up pressure and magma is moving to the surface. I think that out of consideration for those of us with busy lives, a big spectacular eruption would be in order. I mean, there's only so much 24-hour coverage I can watch of a big rock doing nothing. Ideally, it should spew molton lava all over Vancouver WA (just north of Portland OR) because I don't live there anymore, but as a compromise I'd accept melting the feet of the geniuses who flocked to the volcano to see the action live. And a quick word of advice to the media - if the USGS scientists are more interesting than the volcano, it's time to find something else to report on. Like maybe Patty Murray ...

The story on Patty (who is one of the U.S. Senators from Washington) is that she may be the victim of an unfair attack ad by her opponent, George Nethercutt, who was elected to the House in 1994 (when, by the way, he promised, in writing, to serve only 3 terms and is now serving his 5th). Nethercutt's name is an anagram of "Greece Ghetto Runt" and "Go Here, Cunt Getter". Anyway, the ad that Nethercutt is running is a short clip of Murray speaking at a Vancouver WA high school (yes, that's the same Vancouver that St. Helens is taking its sweet time to bury under a sea of magma). The sound byte is Murray ostensibly praising Osama bin Laden. Murray claims the ad is taken out of context and is a lie. She's asking for money for a response ad. What she's not offering is an explanation. I asked for one today, and I hope I get it. Because I like Patty and I want her to continue to be my Senator. But I don't like this stupid game. Patty needs to get the truth out on her website and she needs to do it right now. Or I'm going to sacrifice her to the volcano.

podium watch

2004-09-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else notice that every network ignored the rules of the cadidates' agreement on tonight's debate? Good thing too or we wouldn't have been able to see George W. Bush (which is an anagram of "Egg Bus Whore") looking irritated every time John Kerry pronounced "nuclear" correctly.

pwn3d

2004-09-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

spaceneedle.us

got your dishonorable discharge right here

2004-09-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

A lot of people ask me, "Bob, how do I stop the Democratic National Committee from publishing incriminating records about my military service?"

My answer is always the same: "my name isn't Bob, you stupid mong."

But for those who have legitimate concerns about being vilified and slandered by the subterfuge of the rancorous left-wing, let me offer the following advice. It’s a simple thing I like to call …

Jeremy’s Guide to Fabricating a Believable Military Service Record – A Reference for Over-privileged Cocaine Addicts

When you show up for your token appearance at a branch of the armed services, consider asking one of your fellow service members to photograph you in the act of something related to that branch’s field of destruction. For example, if you join the Air Force, consider sitting in an actual fighter jet (those are the pointy airplanes with eagles and stuff painted on them). Don’t press the little red button on the joystick.

For credibility, familiarize yourself with the definitions of some military terms. For example, "mission accomplished" loosely translates to "that stuff we were trying to do got done". It is typically not used to describe colossal failures of policy or unnecessary loss of human life.

Experienced servicemen react to emergencies with expediency and control. Although goats are interesting, you’ll be more believable as a military hero if you take immediate action when your country is under attack.

Sanctioning torture, while always fun, exciting and rejuvenating, is not indicative of a responsible leader and against the law.

Just in case the political opposition is able to locate your actual service records, it would help to have pre-fabricated documents to contradict them. To create these, you will need a typewriter and somebody who knows how to read and write.

These are just a few hints to get you started. If you really want a successful career as a "war politician," you could always consider actually joining the military. Haha, just kidding! And welcome back to the USA, Stephen, your real service is appreciated.

make it a hurricane before i go insane

2004-09-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

For the record, this is what you get for tampering with elections, you fat ugly puppy-shooters. I tried, but I just couldn't think of anyone more deserving of a devastating hurricane than Florida. Aside from the obvious reasons, desctruction of the limp penis state will help ensure a better country for all of us. According to the current electoral vote stats, Kerry is leading Bush 269 electoral votes to 233 wih Florida coded exactly tied (no votes assigned to either candidate). 270 electoral votes are required to win, but only because you have to win 50% of them. If the hurricanes successfully destroy Florida, as god intends, the electoral vote count will drop to 511, putting Kerry over the halfway mark with a solid 52%. The only resident of Florida worth saving, other than any spods who might happen to be there, is Dave Barry because he posted this. So I'm glued to the Weather Channel, dancing around in my speedo and waving my "Go Ivan" flag, screaming at the hurricane like a monkey on expensive methamphetamines to hurry up and reap his descruction on the hapless Floridians. Only thing standing in the way of a better tomorrow is this guy.

volunteering time

2004-09-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

If you're in the mood for an audio adventure sporting rawkin'-P-town-acid-pop with some mixed in Bushwackin' you can go download my brand new Daqron remix of Volunteering Time from the Digital Knife website.

london calling

2004-09-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I got my London tix and a friendly floor to sleep on for a week, a free round trip ticket on Air Canadia thanks to a veritable assload of hard-earned corporate whore frequent flyer miles. Life doesn't get much better than this. I mean, until I get my Vancouver tix. But it's pretty goddamn good. I hope all the other Raindogs fought the villainous and zestfully malfunctioning ticketmaster website and fared as well as I.

7 hours

2004-09-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

It's 2:08am somewhere in London where a rack-mounted computer sits in a cool clean humming flourescently-lit and absurdly well-secured room in a nondescript building not far from the moss-covered remains of a stony eleventh-century castle wall. Tiny LEDs are flashing all around. The incoming packets like microscopic beads through a maze of impossibly complicated tubing. And I am 7000 miles away. But that computer has my full attention. Because friends, in less than 7 hours that computer and others very much like it will be flooded with requests from Raindogs just like me demanding electronic representations of tickets for the London Tom Waits show.

So goodnight to the dogs across the pond. And set your alarms and charge your mobiles and pay your internet bills because come 9am the pack of rabid Raindogs will be scrounging for some attention from those webservers. And goodnight Matilda too.